Jun 23, 2022 • 50M

The Rant: Marriage vs. Singlehood, a Debate

A lifelong friend joins audiocast to debate a 25-year ongoing conversation.

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Appears in this episode

David Catanese
Mostly politics. With a side of personal. Always #profound, perhaps problematic.
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Jamie Bilica Carroll, who I met in 1998 during an internship at CNN in Washington during college, visits #The Rant for a special edition to debate the choice of lifelong marriage versus the more radical option of long-term singlehood.

At the start of #TooCloseToCall, I said I’d sometimes dip into personal quandaries outside of the political realm. Since Jamie is in town for a quick visit, I’m taking advantage of the opportunity to talk with one of the most enthralling conversationalists on the planet on a topic we’ve grappled with constantly in nearly 25 years of friendship.

Some of the most fulfilling conversations in my life have been with Jamie, who is introspective, self-aware and holds an earnest zest for confronting life’s big questions, as I believe you’ll find in listening to our gab.

A topic we keep returning to is the purpose and value of relationships, what makes us want to seek and cling to lifelong partners, abandon them or choose to go it alone altogether. Is marriage a necessity for happiness, particularly for heterosexuals? Is it really healthy to be with the same person for 40+ years? Or is singlehood unfairly stigmatized due to traditional and religious norms as well as reproductive incentives?

Can a coterie of fruitful friendships truly replace a single dedicated partnership? What happens if the relationship you’ve put everything into goes bust? And who has the courage to make that choice years in after all?

I, a homosexual single male, debate the topic with Jamie, a heterosexual female in her second marriage, for nearly 50 minutes (!), before prudently deciding against a late night pizza order.

As always, I encourage your feedback, critiques, questions and … if you’re so inclined … a *paid subscription* to support future posts like this one.

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