The Supplements

For breakfast, it's tablets. Lunch is creatine. Night requires a knock out punch.

Each day begins with a pair of alphabet pills to keep me alive and ends with a blended powder to send me to sleep.

For breakfast, it’s tablets.

Atorvastatin (20MG), prescribed for elevated cholesterol that, in my case, is genetically induced.

And (the barely pronounceable) Emtricitabine and Tenofovir Disoproxil Fumarate – a larger 250 milligram antiviral to prevent HIV infection. Recommended to most sexually active gay men, the vernacular for the sizable pill is PREP, as in “to be prepared.”

Originally it caused me bloating. I’ve been on it so long now it pairs just fine with rye toast.

Gulp.

Recently, I’ve added a topical follicle solution to my routine, in order to prevent hair loss. .3% Finasteride & 6% Minoxidil. Can 4 sprays a day slow balding around the crown? Hims tells me so.

To stymie my morning Starbucks habit, for a time, I substitute a fat-burning liquid dietary supplement, “Innospresso.” Unsatisfied with the taste and failed promise of tapered belly fat, I then move on to “Magic Mushroom,” an organic sandy superfood mix of cacao, chaga, ashwagandha, reisi, lucuma and cinnamon – sans the psychedelics, sadly.

I sip and sip. Neither concoction ever stood a chance against Starbucks.

I try to squeeze my workouts in mid-afternoon, when the gym is less traveled and my creative mind lags and needs a jolt.

More than half the time I need a bump getting there.

I tap a pre-workout powder called “Wrecked,” hailed by health mags for “energy, power, focus and pump.” It’s the one supplement I feel physically almost immediately after imbibing. Take too much at once and the powdered crystals can sting the tongue. But the faint tingle inside my bloodstream reassures me it’s at work.

When I return from working out, Instagram’s algorithm showcases a stream of men in much better than I. Eventually – after cornering me in a thirst-trap scroll hole – it moves to monetize. Creatine – a horrid tasting, barely dissolvable white powder meant to build muscle – could in fact enable me to look like YogaJake23 and #InstaAbb’dMatt.

Confirms payment.

But the micronized creatine sticks stubbornly to my glassware and to the roof of my mouth, leaving me looking for an alternative.

Never fail, the scientists have a gummy version at the ready.

“Create,” creatine monohydrate gummies, promise “lean muscle, increased energy, faster recovery and enhanced cognition.” 

With 1.5 grams of creatine packed into each fruity square, it now legit tastes good to nutritionize. 

There are moments, sometimes in the afternoon, occasionally in the early evening, of anxiety. The feeling you’re doing it wrong, you’re running out of time, you’re in the wrong place. Such pangs can be slight and weather dependent. 

But I have a pair of oils on hand to rub on my wrists and behind my ears in an attempt to calm myself down. 

This might be more a mental exercise than a medical remedy, but I haven’t tossed the balms. How’s it hurt?

The evening routine has metastasized and become quite elaborate. The serums and under eye creams and tighteners and double moisturizers. 

As the lines on my face formed more durably, I searched for a stronger antidote than even retinol and landed at tretinoin – requiring a doctor’s prescription.

I’ve begun applying a thin layer of “Agency’s: Future Formula” religiously before my final step of the night, to be able to end the day.

I’ve always had trouble sleeping. Thinking too much about tomorrow, 10 years from today or 5 years prior.

That was until I stumbled upon a motivational newsletter that suggested Beam – a nighttime blend for better sleep, containing magnesium, L-Theanine, Reishi and a small hit of Melatonin.

It comes in a delicious chocolate peanut butter flavor that makes it an enjoyable bedtime dessert.

You take it warm, mix it as you read to yourself in bed. I find it helps me drift to sleep more quickly, allowing me to dispense with despairing thoughts of how this flood of daily supplements may counteract with each other and impact my mind, mood and body.

As I type this, I’m warming a mug now.